The Bear Named Bear

 "Why is my toddler never happy?" "My child never seems sad all the time." "Can toddlers be depressed?" — these were some of my actual Google searches. My little guy never seemed happy like neurotypical kids. I was so worried that he only felt blank and empty. He rarely had a genuine smile or appeared to experience real joy or laughter. What I didn't know was that this can actually be a sign that your child is neurodiverse, and it’s called limited affect. Autism spectrum disorder (ASD) presents a variety of characteristics, one of which can be "limited affect" or reduced emotional expressiveness. Limited affect refers to a person's reduced display of facial expressions, gestures, tone of voice, and other outward signs of emotion. For those unfamiliar with autism, this can sometimes be misinterpreted as a lack of emotion or interest, but that’s far from the truth.  Affect, in psychology, refers to the observable display of emotions. Limite...

 Caring for a child with autism can be deeply rewarding, but it also comes with unique challenges. For many parents, the emotional, physical, and financial demands of raising a child with autism can put strain on their relationship. This can sometimes lead to feelings of frustration, isolation, and even disconnection. However, with the right support and strategies, parents can overcome these challenges and strengthen their bond. I’ve come up with a few ideas that might help reduce some of the stress, though I know it’s not always as simple or practical as it sounds. 1. Increased Stress and Fatigue One of the most common challenges parents face when caring for a child with autism is the overwhelming stress and fatigue that comes with managing daily routines, therapies, and behavioral issues. The constant demands can leave parents feeling emotionally and physically drained, which may lead to irritability and arguments. Solution: Prioritising self-care and setting aside time for relax...

For a little while during what I call the "in-between" stage of my little guy’s journey, I was weighing up whether or not to get him diagnosed with autism. Ultimately, I decided to go ahead with the assessment. My main reason was that, here in Australia, the potential access to therapies I wouldn’t be able to afford without the diagnosis made it a necessary step. Deciding whether or not to seek an autism diagnosis for your child is a deeply personal choice and comes with a mix of benefits and challenges. For some parents, getting a diagnosis can be life-changing for their child’s development, unlocking resources and support. For others, the process can feel overwhelming or even unnecessary. If you’re on the fence about whether to seek an official diagnosis for your child, here are some key factors to consider. Why You Might Want an Official Diagnosis for Your Child 1. Access to Support and Therapies One of the most important reasons to pursue a diagnosis is the access it prov...

One thing I’ve been grappling with lately is understanding the difference between my son’s learned behaviors and what might be part of his neurodiverse experience. As a parent, it’s a constant challenge to determine when he’s expressing himself in a way that reflects his neurodiversity, or if it’s something he’s picked up through behavior, environment, or the dynamics within our family. To be honest, my son is the light of our lives. Me and his brothers absolutely adore him and, I’ll admit, we spoil him and let him get away with more than we probably should. He’s our world, and because of that, it can sometimes be hard to draw the line between setting healthy boundaries and making sure we’re supporting his unique needs in the most affirming way possible. One example that comes to mind is his love of cars. And I don’t just mean he likes cars—he’s absolutely obsessed. He knows the make, model, engine type, and all the little details about them. Whether it’s drifting, burnouts, or even j...

After my son was diagnosed with autism, I was told I’d receive the report in an email. That was it. I don’t know exactly what I had imagined in my head—maybe a guide, some direction, or at least a pamphlet explaining what to do next. And suddenly, I realised how much I didn’t know—how much I wish I had known.   I had no idea the financial strain would be so heavy. The therapies that would help my little boy feel less distressed were so expensive, not to mention the fuel just to get there. I didn’t expect that caring for him would mean I couldn’t work as much, couldn’t earn enough to stay afloat.  I didn’t know that it would mean no holidays, that I would barely cover rent, that “living paycheck to paycheck” would be a luxury compared to what we actually face—living day to day, never knowing how we’ll make it to tomorrow. I wake up every morning with that weight, wondering how my boys and I will get through another day. The isolation hit hard, too. People would tell me the...

Before my little man's diagnosis, being my third, it was clear that his mind worked differently from his 2 older brothers. He never babbled, he never played, he was extremely delayed in all milestones (he didn't walk until after age 2) and the thing that really worried me was he never seemed happy. I later learnt that the term for that in the neurodiverse world is "limited affect" The only time he ever "played" wasn’t really playing in the way most people think. Instead of engaging in imaginative games or interacting with toys in a typical way, he would meticulously line things up, organising them with precise care. Sometimes, it was by size, but more often, it was by color. He’d spend hours sorting and arranging, completely absorbed in the patterns he was creating. But this wasn’t just a harmless quirk. If even one item was slightly out of place, or if the colours weren’t perfectly aligned, it would trigger a massive outburst. His frustration would be overw...

  From the beginning... I've never been one to trust my gut instinct, well maybe I should correct myself and say I've never listened to my gut instinct, it probably explains why my relationships and life itself has always been turbulent and full of bad decisions but when I was pregnant with my youngest, there was a feeling I could not shake, I kept seeing hearses everywhere too (which I rarely see), it gave me the most haunting gut feeling. I told myself that I was being paranoid. Everyone around me told me it was in my head. Still to this day I wonder if my stress levels in pregnancy caused something. The level of guilt that causes me itself is off the charts. 5 weeks before my booked in c-section, my first week off work, watching a movie with my 5 & 6 year olds and being severely constipated with my pains getting worse, I decided to prove my sons dad wrong. It was not early labour and infact just poo. I was wrong, it was not a poo. And so began the start of my journey. ...

  What's the go with the Bear? When my youngest (neurodiverse little man) decided to claim my eldest sons, decade old, soft toy bear, I casually asked him what he was going to name him. The look I got was priceless. A side eye was given as if I had just asked the most stupid question in the world, followed by a simple one worded response .... Bear Bear symbolises alot: The idea of being straight to the point, the way my little guy is. A security item. A way my ND son tells me he loves me as he does not discuss feelings. A conversation starter. A communication device (believe it not) Bear unexpectedly plays a big part in my life. This blog explores the emotional and physical challenges parents face when raising an autistic child. Topics include managing self-care, finding support, dealing with guilt, and overcoming burnout. It offers my personal journey finding coping strategies and offering advice for parents also trying to navigate these tough moments while caring for thei...