The Bear Named Bear

Parenting changes your life in unimaginable ways, but when you become a carer for a child with autism, the journey can be unexpectedly profound. Many parents in this situation face a deep and complex form of grief. Grieving your old self and the life you imagined for your child can be intense and layered, often coming with feelings of guilt, isolation, and overwhelming responsibility. You’re not alone in these feelings, and acknowledging them can be a powerful first step toward healing and acceptance.  Acknowledge your feelings without guilt. It’s normal to feel a sense of loss for the life you once had or the one you imagined for your family. Many parents feel guilty for having these thoughts, believing they should only focus on their child’s needs and the blessings they bring. But it’s crucial to recognise that these feelings are valid. They don’t mean you love your child any less. Grieving your old life is a part of the process of adapting to this new reality, and it’s okay to f...

 Planning a holiday with children can feel overwhelming, but for parents of an autistic child, those nerves can sometimes keep us from traveling at all. I’ve been there. I haven’t visited my own mum, who lives five hours away, because I worry about how my son will handle the long journey, the new environment, and the change in routine. While I’d love for my child to have special time with his grandma, my concerns often stop me from making the trip. If you’re like me, wondering how your child might cope and whether the holiday will actually be enjoyable, I hope these tips can help. Here are some ways I’m planning for that eventual visit—and hopefully, they’ll help you feel more prepared for your next family trip too. 1. Identify What’s Causing Your Anxiety For me, one of the biggest concerns about taking my son on a five-hour trip to see my mum is the fear of overstimulation and sensory overload. It’s difficult to know how he’ll respond to such a long drive, a new place, and unfamil...

 "Why is my toddler never happy?" "My child never seems sad all the time." "Can toddlers be depressed?" — these were some of my actual Google searches. My little guy never seemed happy like neurotypical kids. I was so worried that he only felt blank and empty. He rarely had a genuine smile or appeared to experience real joy or laughter. What I didn't know was that this can actually be a sign that your child is neurodiverse, and it’s called limited affect. Autism spectrum disorder (ASD) presents a variety of characteristics, one of which can be "limited affect" or reduced emotional expressiveness. Limited affect refers to a person's reduced display of facial expressions, gestures, tone of voice, and other outward signs of emotion. For those unfamiliar with autism, this can sometimes be misinterpreted as a lack of emotion or interest, but that’s far from the truth.  Affect, in psychology, refers to the observable display of emotions. Limite...

 Caring for a child with autism can be deeply rewarding, but it also comes with unique challenges. For many parents, the emotional, physical, and financial demands of raising a child with autism can put strain on their relationship. This can sometimes lead to feelings of frustration, isolation, and even disconnection. However, with the right support and strategies, parents can overcome these challenges and strengthen their bond. I’ve come up with a few ideas that might help reduce some of the stress, though I know it’s not always as simple or practical as it sounds. 1. Increased Stress and Fatigue One of the most common challenges parents face when caring for a child with autism is the overwhelming stress and fatigue that comes with managing daily routines, therapies, and behavioral issues. The constant demands can leave parents feeling emotionally and physically drained, which may lead to irritability and arguments. Solution: Prioritising self-care and setting aside time for relax...

For a little while during what I call the "in-between" stage of my little guy’s journey, I was weighing up whether or not to get him diagnosed with autism. Ultimately, I decided to go ahead with the assessment. My main reason was that, here in Australia, the potential access to therapies I wouldn’t be able to afford without the diagnosis made it a necessary step. Deciding whether or not to seek an autism diagnosis for your child is a deeply personal choice and comes with a mix of benefits and challenges. For some parents, getting a diagnosis can be life-changing for their child’s development, unlocking resources and support. For others, the process can feel overwhelming or even unnecessary. If you’re on the fence about whether to seek an official diagnosis for your child, here are some key factors to consider. Why You Might Want an Official Diagnosis for Your Child 1. Access to Support and Therapies One of the most important reasons to pursue a diagnosis is the access it prov...

One thing I’ve been grappling with lately is understanding the difference between my son’s learned behaviors and what might be part of his neurodiverse experience. As a parent, it’s a constant challenge to determine when he’s expressing himself in a way that reflects his neurodiversity, or if it’s something he’s picked up through behavior, environment, or the dynamics within our family. To be honest, my son is the light of our lives. Me and his brothers absolutely adore him and, I’ll admit, we spoil him and let him get away with more than we probably should. He’s our world, and because of that, it can sometimes be hard to draw the line between setting healthy boundaries and making sure we’re supporting his unique needs in the most affirming way possible. One example that comes to mind is his love of cars. And I don’t just mean he likes cars—he’s absolutely obsessed. He knows the make, model, engine type, and all the little details about them. Whether it’s drifting, burnouts, or even j...