The Bear Named Bear

For parents of neurodiverse children, the concept of "hyperfocus" can be both inspiring and challenging. As regular readers know, my neurodiverse son has an intense passion for cars, especially car brands and engine makes. This fascination isn’t new; even as a toddler, he was drawn to anything with wheels, learning about different models and brands with an enthusiasm that seemed beyond his years. One of the most memorable moments came one night at bedtime. My son was eagerly sharing a wealth of car facts, many I’d never even heard of. Curious, I asked him how he knew so much. With the purest smile, he replied, "I've got a big brain, Mum." It was such a wholesome response, so symbolic of his unique view of the world. But this love of cars sometimes becomes more than just a fascination. In the world of autism, hyperfocus is common and can often go beyond simple interest, consuming a child’s time, energy, and focus. For my son, this means he can spend hours absorbe...

Parenting changes your life in unimaginable ways, but when you become a carer for a child with autism, the journey can be unexpectedly profound. Many parents in this situation face a deep and complex form of grief. Grieving your old self and the life you imagined for your child can be intense and layered, often coming with feelings of guilt, isolation, and overwhelming responsibility. You’re not alone in these feelings, and acknowledging them can be a powerful first step toward healing and acceptance.  Acknowledge your feelings without guilt. It’s normal to feel a sense of loss for the life you once had or the one you imagined for your family. Many parents feel guilty for having these thoughts, believing they should only focus on their child’s needs and the blessings they bring. But it’s crucial to recognise that these feelings are valid. They don’t mean you love your child any less. Grieving your old life is a part of the process of adapting to this new reality, and it’s okay to f...

 Planning a holiday with children can feel overwhelming, but for parents of an autistic child, those nerves can sometimes keep us from traveling at all. I’ve been there. I haven’t visited my own mum, who lives five hours away, because I worry about how my son will handle the long journey, the new environment, and the change in routine. While I’d love for my child to have special time with his grandma, my concerns often stop me from making the trip. If you’re like me, wondering how your child might cope and whether the holiday will actually be enjoyable, I hope these tips can help. Here are some ways I’m planning for that eventual visit—and hopefully, they’ll help you feel more prepared for your next family trip too. 1. Identify What’s Causing Your Anxiety For me, one of the biggest concerns about taking my son on a five-hour trip to see my mum is the fear of overstimulation and sensory overload. It’s difficult to know how he’ll respond to such a long drive, a new place, and unfamil...